#27 I date you in double-edge sword realm
Life doesn't start with right or wrong, but right or left.
It is a new Monday for all of us and the payday is coming near! For people who have been longing for $$$ in their account, sit back for a little bit longer and do not forget to pay all the credit bills, car and housing debt, and spare for your emergency budget plan. Remember to enjoy life while you can!
In the last edition, Meiska and Elsa were writing about how they spent their long weekend with friends, good foods and drinks. Click here to read it back!

On this episode of #SalMonday, Meiska invited her former colleague Tito. He used to work as Broadcast and Content Management, which lead him further and drove him to work as Head of Marketing at one of the leading e-Sports companies in Indonesia! Even though Tito is a teaser, he is a very good good friend and brother-like. Sometimes Meiska thinks Tito is too kind and patient to be true lol! This time, Tito asked an unexpected question,
Online Dating Apps; harmful or good?
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Meiska
In case you don’t know, I met my boyfriend from Tinder! Hahaha.

To be honest, it took me a while before I found and swiped him right. It never came across my mind that I would landed my first job in Jakarta! So I thought why not to look around to feel the diversity, and try the so-called application. Also, whether or not someone casual-looking and a homebody like me could find someone with common interests. Turned out, there’ so many!

If you’re interested to use the application, I don’t mean to confuse you but set your objective first. Whether just for fun, looking for real partner, someone to talk to or with same hobbies and interests, or even one night stand partner. Because that could keep you from investing too much from your Tinder match. Most users write it on their bio to make it clear. Make sure you turn on that “observant” or “detective” mode.

I can tell you once you met your Tinder match, a lot of things could happen afterwards! But I guess the experience is worth trying. If it’s resulting good relationship (not only romance) then good for you! Otherwise, it could be a once in a life time story, no? Because it’s just good as well as it’s not, it’s only you who can tell.

My boyfriend and I met each other one year after we keep communicating with each other! Hahaha such a long time, right? It’s pretty much unexpected cause I don’t even know what made me keep in touch with him for so long, but ended up having a real relationship with him after six years of being single. But I guess I impressed him good enough because we got even closer after our first meeting in a music concert! 😚
Elsa
“I am not paranoid of using online dating apps.”
I used it since I was in undergraduate (that means it has been 10 years!) with install-uninstall relationship with the apps. I am familiar with Tinder, Bumble, and Couchsurfing, at least I can speak my experience as a seasonal online dater through those apps.
“I am not paranoid to meet my matches in real life.”
If I feel connected with the matches, meeting them in real life has brought an unexpected experience for me that can be funny and strange at the same time. I have met for more than 10 matches from virtual to real life. I am pretty sure that there will be someone of the readers of Salmon Mentai who have met more matches than I did lol!

For me, online dating apps can bring both harm and good as any other things in life. Above all, I do believe that the dating apps have a neutral value. It is just solely me who respond it that leads to the harm and good.
These are the harm and good of using the dating apps according to my experience— with a disclaimer that it might be possible that my good is someone’s harm, or my harm is someone’s good:
The harm
People just come and go. There is no time for me to make peace with the feeling of losing someone because there will be plenty of new matches ready to comfort. I have made people to become easily disposable, as well as I have been disposable for someone’s eyes.
It is just time-wasting activity. Only 10% of swiping that has been meaningful conversation and last longer than just chatting about ‘how are you’.
If someone’s opening line is just way too boring, it doesn’t mean they are the real boring folks. I am actually more thrilled with the guys who can say ‘Immaculate taste in tunes!’ than ‘Hi’, but I know it is hard for some guys to do it. I have learnt in Bumble when the lady should chat first (even thankfully the AI provided some nice opening line suggestions). Still it was a devastating moment when I did not get reply in 24 hours although I already formulated the smart opening line. So guys, I know how it feels.
The good
I’d love to observe people profile in different places because their aura echoes to the city where they live. These are my premature conclusion based on my personality: Guys in Tangerang, Jakarta, Bandung, and Jogja have matched my preferences mostly, but I have not found interesting ones in Surabaya, Palembang, Makassar, Medan. In EU, Paris was full of smart guys for Couchsurfing than Tinder, while Dublin was sucks for both. Vienna was full of artsy guys with nice music taste, in Prague I found none.
It has always been full of surprises to meet people in real life than through QWERTY. There are two Indonesian guys that have become my good friends until now, one was working in Indoestri and we had a nice vinyl shopping in Blok M, one was a Lomography geek and we had a Polaroid film transactions in Warpopski. In EU I could meet a person with coffee and talked about Principal Component Analysis, but I also met a guy who offered me a local weed. It was more absurd to meet a guy who did not want to pay for public train and used my train access instead, just because he was a left wing.
Online dating apps have been my place to meet various people but later I filtered it along the time. I have been friends in Instagram with some matches, and I do still have interactions with most of them. To talk with voids in online dating apps are nice, but to see their daily activities and understand them as a human being brings more fun.
Tell us your online dating experience by writing a comment below!
“Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend - or a meaningful day” — Dalai Lama

Gonna leave a comment here. Nice perspective, absolutely love this week feed!