#47 Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not
— Epicurus
If you are wondering why you didn’t get anything in your inbox and we’re so quiet about that.. It was a surprise because we prepared the podcast for our #50 edition!
Well honestly we were having many irons in the fire, we’re overloaded and we took a couple week off from writing. But we’re really thrilled that it’s just three editions to go for our Salmon Mentai #50 celebration!
It’s a #SalMonday when we make a writing from a theme given by the guests, and the guests are invited to write according to the theme as well. This time, the SalMonday is coming from Sabrina Soraya or Aya. She is a friend of Meiska and Elsa from undergraduate, and she is working in the National Agency of Drug and Food Control of Indonesia (BPOM).
A topic from her is:
“What can possibly happen before you finally say yes to your partner?”
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Meiska
I first knew Aya, because we were paired in the same class on freshmen year. Aya is a very, very, happy-go-lucky friend of ours! On our first hang out together, it was pretty random, but Elsa and I said yes anyway! The karaoke place was pretty far from our university but that does not stop us from going lol. Apart from that, Aya is also strong-willed and logical person when we’re discussing something serious. And obviously, she’s smart to begin with!
Honestly, I have never experienced anything regarding today’s theme. But I’ve heard a lot of stories about it. I was not also expecting that these days, everyone on Twitter can easily makes thread as a story telling platforms. There are also accounts who will show confessions from their followers. The senders usually are anonymous spilling one’s bad deeds. Hoping the accused person stops their bad habits by social punishment from the users. How inevitable that being viral is sometimes the easiest way.
First and after all, we’re Asian. That majority of nation who always need more approvals from our parents than our boss lol. It’s not new that most of the times couple break up when they are not granted the approval to be with someone they think they’re compatible with. No matter how long they’ve been together, even worse when they almost tie the knot because one or both side of parents disagree.
Maybe, because we are still considered as property, that they think they invested on since we are born —thus have the right to “passively” choose what kind of partner that’s perfect for us. Even some friends get to include criteria from their parents! Such as; she or he must graduate from reputable universities, working at private or state-owned companies, employee with double digit salary, etc!
Elsa
I, Meiska, and Aya have been friends since 9 years ago. We used to do karaoke together because we all three have a sonorous voice (and we are confident enough to do a self claim for this motion)!
Anything can happen before saying yes to the partner. Two of my best friends got the drama before leaping to the serious stage, both were about the faithfulness issue. Maybe the curse ‘anything can happen in counting days before engagement/marriage’ is true.
One was having a blowjob with his one-time meet working colleague while he was hangover in a national conference, once in his lifetime. He got busted by his partner, he almost sold everything, almost did alienation due to indignity. The drama ended with happy ending, they’re husband and wife now.
Another one was really busy with a venture he co-founded, and to make money to prepare his future family plan. Unfortunately, his almost ten years girlfriend was feeling he was different and less affectionate. She has found the affection she needed from a husband of someone else. My friend has been hanging out to dry for a year, although he has been giving her a ring. He has been to psychiatrics for this problem until now.
I hope these stories do not make you paranoid about the life before saying yes to your partner! As a single lady I have no right to advise anything, but I do realize that there will be no turning back when I will say yes to my future partner.
Aya
I'm a very complicated, complicated person, whose mindset is weird, with a personality that I think is quite annoying but also fun haha. Above all, I, with all the history of my life, have emotional issues that sometimes I find it hard to control myself. It made me very selective at first and very willing when I was looking for a partner. I could be in touch for 2 weeks with someone, yet another week with another new person, approach another new person in the next week after that, and so on. I also passed the phase of having relationships with someone of different religion. Until finally I decided to be close to someone new with the same religion, so that it would not be a sin for me to leave him.
Armed with this theory, I have been in an on and off relationship with someone for almost 3 years. When I was with him, I approached other people every time we fought. And he knows that, but he has never done the same thing I did to him. This is so far away from all my checklists that I want from the figure of a husband. But it turns out, with all his determination, all his simple thoughts and in short, all his hard work, and persistence in convincing me, finally this toughens me to give in and make a serious commitment with him.
Those three years may be short, but what we've both experienced are a lot! From the start when he worked as event organizer who was offered per project with a minimum salary, no savings, no vision and mission for the future. Thank God we both are getting better now. We have a lot of plans including our wedding day, but unfortunately, we had to postpone it because we are deceived and left by housing developers — and I was almost proposed by another man. The point is, if indeed he is the soulmate that God has prepared for me, I hope everything will turn out beautiful just in time. Hopefully we both are given the strength to be able to accept each other's differences and weaknesses, grow, learn and develop together!
Do you have, or heard stories like this? Or experience it in your life? Share it with us by writing comment below!
“A bond between souls is ancient – older than the planet.” — Dianna Hardy
